Sunday, October 19, 2008

Your Opinion

Elders are always considered right in our Indian culture. Can an elder of the family ill-treat their children? By ill-treat I do not mean physical abuse here. We always here stories where about children ill-treating their parents and elders, but does the reverse happen as well?

13 You Spoke:

Reflections said...

wow.....a super relevant topic??? yeah i also ask...lots of posts on how children must their elders, wht abt the fact how elders treat the kids.

I have noticed so many instances where the elders dont take the youngsters opinion abt matters concerning them(youngsters i mean).

This also happens especially if u stay with the parents after marriage. They still treat the son like a kid who doesnt know what is right or wrong which inturn drops his image in front of the spouse.

Mampi said...

Why not? THey are human too. They have lived with their own prejudices for a longer time than the younger people. However, we expect better discerning powers from them, but it might not necessarily happen. Abuse, yes, because they hold a different power over the younger ones (only those who obey them or value them) and sometimes dont know that they are exceeding their limits.
But I am sure you re not asking the question for the sake of it. Come out clear about the incident.That is if you want to.

DeeplyDip said...

@reflections: yes absolutely. I have seen atleast 3-4 people who are very good with their parents etc but they are not treated well by them...they are very authoritative and in many ways hamper their child's happiness...
@mampi: Yes they are humans and I understand that. But as I wrote above, I have seen many instances where this is happening. If these children were to do the same, everyone would ridicule them. I feel sad that how can a parent/elder of the family not be a loving/doting one and be happy for their child...Would love to talk about all of them in open but then this is not the right forum...just wanted to see if others feel the same way I do and now I feel normal :)

Renu said...

I agree with mampi, yeah they ar ealso human, hey also err,but they dont accept it.
And u r so right because its only the children who are good and obedient to their parent,are exploited, not others, they are good whatever they do.
ur post struck a chord inside me, as I have seen a lot of this and its consequenses----person's whole life getting affected and thats the reason I have taken to complete positivity in my life with my children--giving them a total independence in their life and loving and supporting them wholeheartedly and never complaining, and I am very happy with the results:)

How do we know said...

oh, ALL THE TIME! Elders being unfair to children is a given. The other one, where the elders are "ignored" is story material.

Do i sound bitter? I Am. Harsh? Probably.

my space said...

Yes they do...emotional abuse is the worst..there are no tell tale signs and one cannot break away even when they are dying too...completely understand..u can`t discuss it here..and mampi its not any stray incident that is the premise for this question..

Maddy said...

I think it happens in certain cases. Just because one is grown/ aged, in our society we assume they are matured, which is not always correct. I would not fully agree human is err. If we can’t understand and rectify our mistakes and treat the people in better way irrespective of their age, what we actually learn through our experience??.... I would say, there are loads of things which we can learn from children and youngsters too.

Reflections said...

Hey....where r u? No new post??? hope everything is ok with u???

DeeplyDip said...

@reflections: Yes yes everything is fine. I am in India right now and travelling from one place to the other...so hardly getting time to write...will soon update the posts :)

Reflections said...

Aaaah ok, take ur time, enjoy ur vacation:-)

D said...

I have strong thoughts on that one. Parents abuse their children with emotional blackmail usually. And it works.

Wrote a whole post on it here http://me-letmebme.blogspot.com/2008/10/age-wisdom-and-parenting.html

Shalom said...

YES!!! I speak unfortunately from family experience. In our culture, elders must be respected, but I think that some elders confuse respect with absolute, unquestioning obedience no matter what. They seem to think that just because they're older, they're always right and younger people are always wrong, or that our opinions have less weight than theirs.

People can go wrong at any stage in life.....increasing age doesn't insulate you from committing mistakes. I believe that if you know someone who's doing something wrong, its your moral responsibility to speak up. And just because you're correcting someone or disagreeing with them doesn't mean it has to be a nasty affair, you can still do so with great respect.

Just call me 'A' said...

of course the reverse does happen. children could be abuse emotionally and psychologically too. in our indian society where the court is not a very active part of our society we don't see parents being sued for abuses. but it prevalent..behind close doors. everytime a child is made to earn a living instead of studying, every time is child is threatened repeated for doing something, everytime a child is emotionally blackmailed...there is abuse everytime the action is repeatative.

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